Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Art of the Rally

Baseball spring training will be here before we know it, so I'm reposting something I did for another site (bravesrallycap.com) last season. And yes, I realize it's actually not near spring training and I'm shamelessly reposting something I wrote last year because I'm a lazy bastard. Hope you enjoy it and go Braves!

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Throughout the ages, Rally Caps have been a tradition in baseball, but how many different kinds are there? Let's take an in-depth look.

THE SHARK
Method: Fold back of hat into front, crea
ting a half-hat. Place hat on head so bill becomes shark fin.


This method can be extremely intimidating, especially against teams who play in landlocked states that don’t normally see sharks. No one knows why this actually works, but legend has it that an ancient voodoo woman (who happened to be a huge baseball fan) was tired of her team losing, so she transferred the spirit of a great white shark into the player’s rally caps, thus instilling them with a ferocity that the other teams couldn’t compete with. Or maybe opponents just can’t stop staring at how dumb the other team looks.


THE INSIDE-OUT
Method: Invert hat. Wear. Works every time.

The most common Rally Cap is perfect. Just the right amount of team pride and goofiness. The reason it works is that the entire roster is united, but relaxed. Some of the pressure of having to mount a comeback is taken off the batter and base runners, often with winning results. The only problem is having to deal with an extremely sweaty hat exterior when players take the field again.



BACKWARDS

Method: Turn hat around. Did we really have to tell you that?


We're sure this method worked much better before people actually started wearing their hats backwards in day-to-day situations. Now it's not so goofy and is pretty common. Thanks a lot, Johnny Backwards Hat. You think you're so cool. Way to ruin a perfectly good rally method for the rest of us. Now we have one less rally weapon in our arsenal.


IMPROVISATION
Method: Use athletic tape to contort the bill of the hat into different shapes.

*Note: Rowdy Bowden could find no documented photos of this method. It's like Sasquatch, only it lives in the late innings of baseball games and not in the woods.
One of the lesser-known approaches…and for good reason.

With everyone showing their artistic side, there’s no sense of uniformity. As far as we’re concerned, there’s no improv in the baseball rally.


THE RALLY MASK
Method: Purchase a pre-made mask with team colors on it.


Just don’t do this. Seriously. You’re an adult. Act like one and make your hat into a shark fin. Just don’t embarrass the rest of us with something like this facial monstrosity. Come on. You’re scaring the children at the stadium and really lowering your chances of ever speaking to a woman that isn't your mom.

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