Frost Brew at your own risk.

Coors Light wants to destroy the world.

At least, that's my theory. You see, years ago in the Coors Light La-brew-tory, a young scientist stumbled upon a discovery that would change beer forever. It was called the Frost Brew Liner, and it kept beer colder than average. Unfortunately, that scientist did not realize the magnitude of its power and was found frozen in a solid block of ice, still holding a beaker full of some sort of nerdy liquid that only scientists care about.

But after a year or two, Coors Light harnessed this amazing power and mass produced it via their evil bottling plant. (Only one of their bottling plants is actually evil. It's in New Jersey. Go figure.) The unsuspecting public had no idea the terrors that would await them.



It began innocently enough. Consumers bought the new cans due to gimmick-y packaging such as reusable coolers and new packaging. Then, they began to notice that if only one Frost Brew lined can was placed in an empty cooler alongside another brand's regular cans, it would keep them all cold. Well, that's handy, right?

Wrong!

Soon, meteorologists began noticing changes in weather patterns. Polar ice caps stopped melting. Much like Vanessa Williams predicted in her hit song "Save the Best for Last," the snow did indeed begin to fall in June.

Take a look at this recent photo.



It appears to be a Vermont lodge in the dead of winter, right? Well, that's actually Fidel Castro's house. In Cuba. In August.

It has begun.

Soon, their Silver Bullet train will be able to travel anywhere in the world under the guise of a global snowstorm, overthrowing governments and installing their own Rocky-tapped leaders.

Coors Light wants to rule the world with an aluminum fist and it's up to us to stop them. And the only way to do that?

Drink cold, refreshing Bud Light! Mmm, Bud Light. The taste that goes down smooth and isn't dedicated to killing us all.

**This post sponsored by the good, non-evil people of Anheuser-Busch.