Boy, he's quite the looker. And by "looker," I mean troglodyte.
Now, I completely understand that this young(?) man (?) has probably never set foot on the actual campus of the University of Florida. Hell, he probably hasn't seen the inside of a classroom since grade school. And I also understand that every SEC team has their fair share of podunk sons of the soil who claim allegiance to a team and give all the normal alumni a bad name.
But seriously, look at this guy. Raise your hand if you think he was conceived on the hood of a Camaro with REO Speedwagon blaring in the background. All of you? That's what I thought.
If UGA/UF is known as The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, then this is the guy that no one invited. He just shows up, drinks your beer, pisses in your vegetable crisper, then passes out on your girlfriend with his small, carnie-like hand (still stuck in the devil horn formation, as if he has some sort of rock and roll rigor mortis) conveniently resting on her left boob.
Even Gator fans hate this guy. His stereotypical mullet and jean shorts do nothing to advance their identity. But look on the bright side, at least the shorts aren't cut off to the point where his pockets (and/or testicles) are showing out the bottom. Although the resolution on my computer screen isn't great, so I could be wrong.
But I do have some bad news for the Gator nation...this guy is actually Tim TeBow's embarrassing brother. He's kind of like Roger Clinton, Billy Carter and Stephen Baldwin all rolled into one oddly pink anthropomorphic ball of Gator meat. It's only a matter of time before he tries to cash in on the TeBow name by writing a tell-all book or setting up a stand on the interstate and selling t-shirts with childhood pictures of him and his big brother Timmy on them.
But until that time comes, I hope he has fun rooting on his beloved Gators. Just stay the hell away from my tailgate.
Oh, and one more thing...
Go Dawgs!
5 comments:
I can't believe a UGA fan has the gall to talk about someone else's fans. Of course, that could've been my cousin in that picture, so I should probably shut up now...
very nice....but who's Billy Carter?
GO DAWGS!
Billy Carter was Jimmy Carter's younger brother. He tried to capitalize on his "fame" by making Billy Beer. Plus, at one point he moved to Libya as a "foreign agent" and took out a $220,000 loan and had to be investigated by a Senate sub-committee.
Fun stuff.
OH MY! He ignites a fire in my pants!!
hmm....considering my love for a) all things political, and b) trivial matters, i'm surprised to not have heard that before. thanks!
BTW, i'm setting the over/under for "fights at the landing between guys wearing camo hats and guys who look like that dude (above)" at 27. and i'm taking the over.
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