4Skin, Gettin Up In Ya Again....Again?

Many of you may not be aware of this, but I used to be in a boy band with three of my closest friends. Well, as close as you can be to three random people that were assembled by a fat, sleazy record producer. But as far as random guys go, they were the best.

We were called 4Skin, and our sound was Backstreet Boys meets N.K.O.T.B with a little slice of Marky Mark (mostly for the bunches of funky) and an N'Sync twist. Here we are with our primary tour care physician, Dr. Greasycheeks.If you can't tell, I'm the cute one. And yes, I realize that wearing a sock on my right arm is completely dumb. Everyone knows that the left arm is the common sock-adorning arm. I caught some major heat from our PR Ho for that one.

Other group members include Lil' Burn One (he's the floating torso), B-Rad (with the upside down, sideways visor that the ladies loved) and J-BallaDawg (the urban cowboy). Together, we collectively ushered many girls into womanhood by implanting thoughts into their heads that would make even the horniest ho blush. This was accomplished through our two biggest hits.

Our first single really got the word out about who were were. "4Skin (Gettin' Up In Ya Again)" hit the airwaves in the summer of 2000 and the public couldn't get enough of us. We toured the world on the strength of that single, but then we dropped a lyrical bomb on the world that changed the face of music forever.

The tender, yet rigid ballad "Circumcise My Love" really ushered us into the stratosphere alongside such powerhouse groups as 98 Degrees, All Saints, Youth Asylum and The Rolling Stones. Here's a sample:

I think we may be infected
And I may have to do something rash
You thought our love was unflappable
But I think we should cut it off and throw it in the trash

(Chorus)
Circumcise my love for you
Baby, you don't know how I feel
Circumcise my love for you
There's no way that I can conceal
The way I feel
Is real
So, here's the deal
Just grab that knife and start a new life
Just circumcise my love.

Then there was a sweet-ass guitar solo by Eric Clapton. He didn't want anything to do with us, but something about a contract loophole and he had to. It was pretty rad. We credited him as E-Clap in the liner notes.

But as time went on, the boy band craze faded. It was hard for us to book gigs (that's industry speak for lip-synching on a stage while we're dancing) and we went our separate ways. But we had a nice career and changed the way people think about music. It was the best two months of my life.

And now, we've been talking again and some of us actually learned to play instruments. I hear Lil' Burn One plays a killa harmonica and B-Rad's been taking triangle lessons. Even I'm up to three different chords on the guitar. Or as we in the industry call it, The Axe.

So I'm thinking of a 4Skin Reunion Tour. We'll start off small until our new single "Beatbox Briss" gets off the ground. But once it does, look out world. You may have circumcised the 4Skin once, but it's back. And it's more beautiful than ever.