I recently checked out Craigslist for any freelance jobs, and under the WRITING category, I found a job with the following requirements:
WRITER NEEDED
Job requires:
Writing, the person must be capable of writing with excitement and style in an engaging way. They must be knowledgeable on a range of topics and be capable of putting together the magazine every month on schedule as well as write content for a website, ads, etc.
Graphic design, the writer will also be responsible for the design and publishing of the Magazine. This person must have strong skills in Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator or comparable programs and be able to write and design compelling ads.
Sales, the person will be responsible for the advertising sales and follow up of ad space. This will include helping design, implementing and refining a clearly defined sales strategy for ad sales.
Um, so basically, you want a writer who will also COMPLETELY RUN YOUR MAGAZINE! Last time I checked, writing does not also require graphic design, sales and "putting together the magazine every month."
Why don't you just ask me to empty out the garbage cans while I'm at? Oh, you want me to babysit your kids too? Sure, no problem. You have any dangerous medical waste you'd like me to keep in my bathtub for a few months? I'm all for it. No, seriously. You just sit there and relax while I feed you grapes and give you a massage with my toes. It's all in my job description as a writer.
Wait, you're going to pay me how much? Holy shit. Uh...when can I start and what kind of grapes do you like?
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3 comments:
it could be worse...your efforts to contribute on a VOLUNTARY basis could be completely ignored by a certain newspaper, only to open up the paper two days later and see misspellings and the inability to differentiate between "your" and "you're" from their paid staff.
i will now dive into an empty swimming pool.
If you keep coming up with stuff like this, i might just ask you to marry me. How come youre not this funny when we hang out? Is it because youre trying to get back at me for my poor phone skills? I just have ADD and you cant deny it.
Unfortunately, I'm only funny on paper. It's a cruel twist of fate that I must face everyday.
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